You may be wondering why you should have friendship goals. I mean we set goals for our career, hobbies, and other parts of our life. But have you set friendship goals for your friendship search?
Where to Start with Friendship Goals
Like any type of goal setting, you need to figure out where you are starting from. You will need to take a look at your current friendships and see where things currently sit. Then you will need to figure out what you would like to achieve with your friendships.
Start by evaluating the friendship you currently do have. Which category are they mostly falling into?
- Close personal friends – Positive influence on you, confide in, enjoy spending time with, you know their birthday
- Family Friends – Friends of yours, your partners, or your family. You enjoy spending time with but maybe you don’t really confide in.
- Acquaintances – You like spending time with these people, but you don’t keep up with them regularly.
- Colleagues – You might meet out of work sometimes, but not really close. If you were to leave the job or place you know them, you likely wouldn’t keep in touch.
- Bad Friends – People who are a poor influence on you, treat you badly, take without giving.
Evaluate which of these groups do you have friends in? Which groups could use more friends? How many do you think you could keep the “requirements” up for in each category? You can’t exactly have 100 people in the Close Personal Friends category and keep up with them all. Start with figuring out which groups of yours could have more friends.
Setting some Friendship Goals
Now that you know what kind of friends you are looking for, let’s set some friendship goals.
The first goal you want to set is for you to be a good friend first!
- Don’t abuse your friend’s trust. No matter what kind of relationship, all of them are built on trust. Be honest with your friends and do what you say you are going to.
- Appreciate your friends and tell them you do! Thank them for the little things. It goes a long way
- Your good friends need quality time spent with them! Invite them over, go to dinner or just have a good phone chat.
- Make sure your friends know you care and that you are there for them.
- Remember you are not the only person in their life, so don’t be controlling of them.
How to move friends to make them closer with Friendship Goals
Do you want to move friends from Family Friends, Acquaintances, and Colleagues to a Closer friend?
Start by looking at this group of friends first. Perhaps there is someone you already know that could become a closer friend. Many will remain in this category but perhaps there is one or two here that can be moved up.
Figure out what kind of thing you and these individuals could do together. You can ask them or perhaps have a look at their social media. It might give you a few clues about some things they like to do. Then you can suggest, set up, and organize doing it!
If you are looking for a closer friend, don’t wait for it to magically happen for you. You are going to need to take a few breaths and make the effort! This isn’t going to be forever, and it shouldn’t always be you. But if you are feeling lonely and want to make new friends then take the initiative yourself.
How to make new friends Friendship Goals
If you can’t find someone to promote from a previous category then you are probably going to be looking for a brand new friend.
If you are looking to make new friends it can be a scary and overwhelming thing. The first thing to remember is you won’t get a person in your “close friend” category right away. It takes time and effort to move a new friend through the categories of friendship.
If you had a new life change this can be even harder! Getting divorced, having a baby, or moving to a new city can make finding new friends even harder.
- Know what you are looking for in a new friend. Think about the friends you already have and which traits you like and which you don’t.
- You will likely need to go a bit outside your comfort zone. New friends will not fall into your lap. You will likely need to initial a conversation and communicate with others. Ask about them and talk about yourself.
- Don’t settle or compromise – If you are finding a new friend that is not working out, that is ok. Let it go! A few good quality close friends are better than many bad or not so great friendships
- Say yes to things! Agree to that after-work event, sign up for that class, join that after-class group. If you see the opportunity to get out there and meet people you should accept it so you can actually have the chance to meet people.
- Follow up. After you have met someone who seems interesting you need to get their contact details so you can meet up again. Ask them to coffee or go watch a movie. You need their information to do that.
Many people are shy when it comes to making new friends, but remember many people are too! Take a chance and you could be meeting a new best friend by following our friendship goal list.
Friendship Goal Quotes to Inspire You
Here are some friendship goal quotes to help you be inspired!
“True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable”.
– David Tyson Gentry
“No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.”
― Alice Walker
“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”
― Mark Twain
“Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit”.
“There is nothing better than a friend unless it is a friend with chocolate.”
― Linda Grayson
“I don’t care about whose DNA has recombined with whose. When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching–they are your family.”
― Jim Butcher
“The capacity for friendship is God’s way of apologizing for our families.”
― Jay McInerney
“What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies”.
‘A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.
― William Shakespeare
“Because with true friends, no one is keeping score. But it still feels good to repay them – even in the tiniest increments.”
― Emery Lord
“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”
― C.S. Lewis
“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”
― Elbert Hubbard
“The best friendships are built on a solid foundation of alcohol, shenanigans, and general misbehavior.”
“If you have good friends, no matter how much life is sucking, they can make you laugh.”
― P.C. Cast
“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.”
― Helen Keller
“No friendship is an accident. ”
― O. Henry
And also some Friendship Goal Memes… for Fun
There is a fun “friendship goal meme“. These are some of our favorites.
Final thoughts on Friendship Goals
Friendships are complicated. You can take charge of the friendships in your life and figure out how to improve the friendships you do have or how to make new friends.
Maintaining or improving your friendships DOES take effort. Settings some friendship goals will help you figure out where to spend your time and effort better.