One of the most common complaints I hear from women when asking me how to attract men, are those who say, “All my friends are married/in relationships and I just don’t have the kind of fun, single friends I need.”
Why is this such a big problem? As women you know how important it is for a guy to have a fantastic social circle in order for you to want to be with him. Yet even with this in mind, many women are thinking too much about how to attract men before they’ve even got a really close circle of friends that they can then introduce any new guy to.
In order to attract a guy with the right social circle, it’s vital for you to already have your own.
Having a fantastic peer group is one of the most important factors in achieving success in any area of our lives, but most notably in our love lives when attracting men. Our peer group can spur us on to the greatest of heights, or pull us down and make it feel like there’s a chain around our neck.
Specific to our love lives, the biggest mistake that single women make is surrounding themselves with married women.
I guess a lot of women subconsciously think that their friends marital status might somehow rub off on them, but the truth is that these kinds of women typically lose their drive to meet new people and so their social circle tends to wane.
If we get stuck as the only single person in a circle of married friends, it can be an uphill struggle to push yourself to meet single guys. If you fail to make a change, sooner or later your friends will utter that dreaded phrase, “I just don’t understand why you’re STILL single!”… At that point your answer is simple, “Because I’m stuck here meeting a bunch of married people!!”
What we need to do is build a peer group that serves us.
When we’re around people who have the same goals as us, who don’t let us off the hook, who check up on our progress, then we’re driven to create the best results imaginable. Whatever new behavior or trait you want to see in yourself, go out and find someone who already has it. If you want to start taking more risks, find yourself a risk taker. If you want to start being more adventurous, surround yourself with as many adventurous women as you can. If you want to be more playful when you’re first meeting men, find the most playful women you can.
Why? Because you take on the best parts of those you surround yourself with.
Our peer group has certain expectations of us, and we directly adhere to those expectations.
That’s why if you are determined to go out and want to get in that sociable state to meet new men, you are going to need the kind of friends who will have fun doing it and actually try this stuff out with you. The kind of friends who will get involved and spur you on when you go and approach men, instead of trying to pull you down. You want people who aren’t going to let you off the hook.
But let’s be clear, I’m not telling you that you need to start ditching your current friends and trade them in for single ones. But what I do hope to alert you to is the life-changing power of expanding your social circle.
I’ve got myself an incredible peer group, now what?
Just from having this amazing social circle, the women in your life should be introducing you to more men than you know what to do with. And what’s the best way to ensure that he has an incredible social circle himself? – It’s for him to already be a part of your incredible group of friends. If you’re thinking, “Well there are no guys in my social circle and I never get introduced to new people” then you just need to start expanding it.
New friends equal new opportunities
Think about this for a moment, every new person that you bring into your life could also be a window to another 10-20 amazing people. The process of expanding your social circle really is exponential; you’ll start off small, but before you know it, you’ll have a new 100 friends (many of whom will be guys!)
But here’s the best part; it only requires a few very small changes to what you’ve already been doing to get these massive, life-changing results! Stop scrutinizing the finer aspects of how to attract men and focus on your social circle. Ask yourself this one question; contemplate it; answer it, and then act on it everyday, and I promise you that the changes you see in your own life will be staggering…
This is a guest post article written by relationship expert Matthew Hussey.